The Dishing Doulas Podcast

EPISODE 15: Life and Death Matters with Kathy Murray

Kath Murray is a Hospice Palliative Care Nurse, educator and founder of Life and Death Matters. She is passionate about developing and delivering death education and resources aimed at helping Personal Support Workers, nurses and other members of the health care team and family to provide best care for the dying person and their caregivers.   
In this podcast Kath will talk about her resources and practical ways that you as a Death Doula can support the people you care for and their team.   
Kath will describe common patterns of decline, the move toward the “integration of a palliative approach” in caring for people with any life-limiting illness, early in the disease process and across all care settings, she will identify common symptoms, give examples of comfort measures and the use of a comfort basket. 
ABOUT KATH MURRAY: 
Kath Murray is a Hospice Palliative Care Nurse, educator, thanatologist & founder of Life and Death Matters, a Canadian Palliative Care education company. Her mission is to develop resources that help the health care team integrate a palliative approach to care in all care settings, and thus improve care of people who are living-dying and their families/loved ones.   
Kath Murray believes that education and resources should be “delicious and digestible”, engaging and user friendly.   
Kath wrote the text, Integrating a Palliative Approach: Essentials for Personal Support Workers and a similar text for nurses, Essentials in Hospice and Palliative Care: A Practical Resource for Every Nurse. Both of these texts have companion workbooks, podcasts, and videos, and are available on the LDM NEW online digital library.   
Together with a team of palliative care providers in Mexico, they adapted and translated the nursing text into Spanish.   
Kath has been a family/friend caregiver. She is no stranger to palliative care, loss and grief.    
Kath weaves current knowledge, research and best practice with personal experience and anecdotes to bring the material to life. She is known for synthesizing material into easy-to-understand language and conveying it with warmth and humour. 
https://lifeanddeathmatters.ca/ 
Kath@lifeanddeathmatters.ca 

EPISODE 14: Jordan Arogeti, SupportNow – Understanding Its Process, Benefits, and the Comfort It Provides

EPISODE 14: Jordan Arogeti, SupportNow – Understanding Its Process, Benefits, and the Comfort It Provides
 
What do individuals and families need in times of illness, death and tragedy?  How can you help? 
Jordan will share her experience and how their resource has influenced the development of SupportNow.  Learn what individuals really want and need in times of distress, and why; and you will also learn how you can actually offer help that is meaningful and needed should you know someone faced with these challenges. 
Understand why “let me know what I can do”, or “how can I help?” - isn’t really helpful for those emersed in times of illness, death or tragedy. 
Discover how SupportNow can help you to help. 
ABOUT JORDAN AROGETI: 
 Jordan Arogeti wants to change how supporters show up for friends and families  
in tough times. She’s doing just that as the CEO and co-founder of SupportNow, all  
in one place to raise money, schedule meals, coordinate volunteers, and send  
updates.  
SupportNow is a free, easy to use website that offers clear direction to anyone  
inclined to offer funds, food, or time and energy. The website is a called a Registry  
that can be customized based on current needs and easily change overtime.  
Prior to SupportNow, Jordan spent seven years working as the top Strategic  
Enterprise salesperson at Salesloft and in her time there the company grew from  
1M to 200M in annual revenue. Passionate about sales and women in tech she  
was instrumental in crafting the maternity leave policy that blazed a path for  
dozens of other mothers across the company. Additionally, Jordan has invested  
and advised dozens of startups throughout the country.  
Jordan began her career at IMG/WME in New York working in Collegiate Sports  
Sponsorship and Licensing.  
A graduate of the University of Georgia, Jordan lives in Atlanta with her husband  
(and co-founder in Mi Alma) Scott, and their three kids; Nace (5), Remi (4), and  
Hayes (1). 
Connect with Jordan and SupportNow her: 
www.supportnow.org 
jordan@supportnow.org 
  
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Contact us at admin@ddnint.com for any feedback or suggestions on podcast guests or topics. 
Music provided by Dee Flat and the Benz, used with permission. 

EPISODE 13: Nicola Finch, Natural Burial

SHOW NOTES –EPISODE 13, NICOLA FINCH, NATURAL BURIAL 
Nicola Finch is passionate about caring for our own dead.  Through her lived experiences and how her family approached death, Nicola knows the value of being with her dead, caring for them, and participating in companioning them to their final resting spot makes a difference for the grievers; for those left behind.  Nicola shares personal stories about the death of both her parents, and the unexpected death of her brother at a young age.  Her stories will help us all to understand exactly how it can make tragic circumstances just a little bit easier. 
As part of “caring for our dead”, Nicola also talks about the importance of natural burial, and how, in the province of BC we don’t have enough opportunities or locations where we can provide a natural burial for our loved ones, or ourselves.  
Our conversation together will definitely give you something to think about – and maybe alter your perspective, just a little, if you haven’t yet considered how you want to be cared for after death, or how you may wish to care for your dead loved ones. 
Have a listen! 
ABOUT NICOLA FINCH: 
Nicola Finch has lived remote and off grid for 22 years. She and her husband, David steward 50 acres on the Tŝilhqot’in plateau in the interior of British Columbia. David is the originator and pioneer of the steam bent wood ring. They are co-creators of Touch Wood Rings and Touch Wood Memorial Rings.  
Nicola is passionate about choice. She is a wholistic death care advocate and believes Natural Burial should be an accessible choice for everyone in British Columbia. She believes what's important is caring for each other and our dying planet; giving the birds something to sing about. She loves to photograph, and loves sharing the beauty of the natural world because it brings people home. 
 
You can find Nicola here: 
Nicola@dying.green 
https://www.greenburialbc.ca/ 
https://www.touchwoodrings.com/ 
https://www.ccdcnetwork.com/ 
 
 
LEARN ABOUT DEATH DOULA NETWORK INTERNATIONAL 
Contact us at admin@ddnint.com for any feedback or suggestions on podcast guests or topics.   
Music provided by Dee Flat and the Benz, used with permission. 

Episode 12: Creative Celebrations for End of Life

Would you consider hiring an event planner for an end of life gathering?  
We all know about the traditional funeral service or celebration of life, and there is varying opinion about whether these gatherings are a necessary act of mourning and remembrance.  No matter what you call it, funeral service, celebration of life, end of life gathering or a barbeque – experiences tell us these gatherings DO matter. 
Through her work as an Event Planner specializing in End-of-Life gatherings, Christina Andreola shows us how we CAN create a gathering that truly reflects the life and essence of our dead loved one.  By taking a traditional concept and reinventing it in ways that are extremely personal and relevant for the person being remembered, there is so much more room to be present for the gathering, for remembrance, to hear stories shared, and to move onward without any uncertainty or regret about how we did – or didn’t honoured our loved one. 
Christina shares how her work is making a profound difference for families, loved ones, and all who attend the gatherings; and each one has a profound impact on Christina too.  Christina says the legacy of every person she’s done an event for is carried forward to the next client she works with, as she helps you to open the door even wider to what is possible. 
Where does she begin?  with a blank notebook and an open mind – where anything is possible, from a life size cut out, broadway musical headlines, playbook playlists, garden parties or a small intimate dinner experience.  Anything is possible with a blank notebook and an open mind. 
ABOUT CHRISTINA ANDREOLA: 
Christina Andreola is the founder of New Narrative Events, an event planning company that specializes in helping groups with the logistics surrounding the visioning and planning for a celebration of life event. Founded in 2017, New Narrative is the first event planning company of its kind in Canada to focus solely on these meaningful legacy experiences.   
During the pandemic, Christina quickly pivoted the business to planning and facilitating virtual and hybrid memorial services, connecting family and friends no matter where they are in the world. With over five hundred events planned, New Narrative’s mission is to take care of the details so families can take care of each other. 
You can learn more about Christina and contact her here:  www.newnarrativeevents.com 
and  www.planacelebrationoflife.com  for her course Plan a Celebration of Life
 
 
LEARN ABOUT DEATH DOULA NETWORK INTERNATIONAL 
Contact us at admin@ddnint.com for any feedback or suggestions on podcast guests or topics.   
Music provided by Dee Flat and the Benz, used with permission. 
  

Episode 11: Stefanie Elkins, Death Over Drafts

As a Family Caregiver Consultant,  End-of-Life Doula, and founder of Be Present Care, Stefanie Elkins has over 20 years of experience supporting and helping  people navigate challenging life transitions such as caregiving, end-of-life, and grief.  
Her expertise includes being an educator and facilitator on advance care, caregiving and end-of-life conversations as well as creating plans and programs for families, healthcare and senior-focused organizations. As the Medical Outreach Manager, an integral part of Compassion & Choices California Campaign team,  she assisted in passing and then implementing the California End of Life Option Act that passed in 2015. 
 
Merging her passions: love of craft beer and encouraging candid conversations on end-of-life, Stefanie created Death over Drafts, a community event held at breweries across the United States to spark curiosity & meaningful connection around death and dying. 
 
In this episode Stefanie shares this passion, and why she believes offering comfortable places to gather and explore the uncomfortable topic of dying and death is so important for society and can inspire how we reignite our intentions on how we choose to live and die. 
 
Stefanie is an accomplished professional and life long learner. Her credentials include completion of the University of Vermont End of Life Doula Professional certificate program and currently in double MA degrees in Management specializing in Human Services and Jewish Communal Service from Brandeis University, and a BA in Social Relations from UC Riverside. 
 
She also holds leadership roles as the LA Unit Chair of the Western Region of the Aging Life Care Association®, and is actively involved with various organizations dedicated to promoting end-of-life choices and providing support to seniors, including Compassion & Choices, Foundation for Senior Services, Coalition to Transform Advanced Care (CTAC), Reimagine, Silent Book Club of Death, and Valley Chevra Kadisha.  
 
Compassion & Choices, Foundation for Senior Services, Coalition to Transform Advanced Care (CTAC), Reimagine, Silent Book Club of Death, and Valley Chevra Kadisha.   
https://www.aginglifecare.org/ 
https://www.bepresentcare.com 
 
LEARN ABOUT DEATH DOULA NETWORK INTERNATIONAL 
Contact us at admin@ddnint.com for any feedback or suggestions on podcast guests or topics.   
Music provided by Dee Flat and the Benz, used with permission. 
 

Episode 10: Cynthia Clark, The Many Faces of MAiD (Medical Assistance in Dying) - Sharing the Stories

Episode 10: The Many Faces of MAiD (Medical Assistance in Dying) - Sharing the Stories
 
Cynthia guided her family through MAID, twice. First with her husband in 2019 and then again with her father in 2023. She discovered writing when her husband was sick as a way to process her experience and has since encouraged others to do the same. She is the creator and Co-Author of the recently published book The Many Faces of MAID: What to Expect When Someone You Know Chooses Medical Assistance in Dying.   
In this episode Cynthia is joined by some of the Many Faces of MAiD authors as they share their stories, and why they believe sharing these stories is important for them, and for all of us, in better understanding MAiD and the impact it can have for individuals and the people who love them. 
About Cynthia: 
Cynthia Clark received her HBA from the University of Western Ontario and spent time working as a management consultant and in midstream oil and gas. She has lived and worked in several different countries, is a trained executive coach and seasoned advocate for many causes that she is passionate about. Cynthia is a very good communicator and has excellent interpersonal and networking skills. Cynthia guided her family through MAID in 2019 when her husband was diagnosed with brain cancer and again when her father chose MAID in 2023. 
About the Storytellers: 
Carole - Carole was stunned and devastated when her close friend Sue called to say that she desperately and urgently needed Carole’s support. Her husband Dan had elected to have MAID, and this was a decision that was inconceivably traumatic for Sue. Dan’s facial cancer  
treatment would be painful and result in such disfigurement that he felt he’d prefer to die with some semblance of dignity. Carole flew to their home, trying to grasp the complexities of this tragedy, to comfort both of her dear friends at the end of Dan’s life.  
Carol will share about her feelings of Empathy (Chapter 2, pg 67) when she learned of Sue’s husband’s diagnosis.   
Dave - Dave and Annie had lived on a street aptly named Paradise Close for three blissful years when Annie, at 72, was diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer. At the same time, she lost her speech and her ability to eat, a condition that was strongly suspected to be Bulbar ALS. She became palliative right away. A hospice visitor told them about MAID, and the relief for both of them was palpable. They smiled, knowing that Annie would not have to die in pain. Dave was her primary caregiver for 20 months, a role he never wanted, but gratefully embraced. She managed the cancer, but a much deeper blow was her inability to talk to Dave. They’d been together, as the tightest unit imaginable, for 27 years when Annie decided she’d had enough. She had the most beautiful, peaceful death on their living room sofa in the presence of her two children and Dave, her loving husband. Dave will share his feelings of Relief (Chapter 5, pg 135) when his beloved Annie decided she was ready to die.   
Bobbie - Bobbie and Bob had been married for 28 active and healthy years when he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. They lived their lives to the fullest for the next 23 years. After an isolating and demoralizing five-week stay in the hospital during COVID, Bob decided he wanted to go home and die on his own terms. Bobbie was with him, and their dog was by his side, as he looked out into their BC garden and said goodbye. Bobbie will share about her feelings of Sadness (Chapter 6, pg 174) the day Bob had MAID  
Cathy - Cathy and Gary were in their 70s and had been together for 28 years when he was diagnosed with an incurable lung cancer. What followed was Gary’s gradual decline over the next year and a half, with Cathy taking care of him. They had agreed from the beginning that neither of them could tolerate his prolonged suffering and that MAID was the right choice. Gary decided to forgo treatment that might extend his life for a few months but would affect the quality of the time he had left. He died peacefully at home in Cambridge, ON, overlooking the beauty of the lake behind their house. Cathy will share about feeling Empty (Chapter 7, pg 199) in the days following Gary’s death.  
Brittney - Brittney was in her  mid-20’s, living a relatively normal and quiet life when her mother was diagnosed with skin cancer in her jaw. Her mom had decided on MAID before going into her first surgery, ‘just in case things got bad.’ Six years later, after numerous surgeries, appointments and treatments, the cancer returned for the third time and there was nothing more the doctors could do. Even though she couldn’t speak, she made it clear that she was ready to move on to the other side, experience the next chapter, and more importantly, be pain free. Brittney will share about eventually finding peace (Chapter 9, pg 242) two years after her Mother’s death. 
 
Contact Cynthia: cynthiac@maidfamilysupport.ca 
Facebook
 
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Contact us at admin@ddnint.com for any feedback or suggestions on podcast guests or topics. 
 
Music provided by Dee Flat and the Benz, used with permission. 
 
 

Episode 09: Leslie Buller-Hayes, Life in the ICU

Episode 09:  Life in the ICU - Leslie Buller-Hayes, ICU Nurse, Death Doula, Stonehedge Transitions
 
Leslie Buller-Hayes is an ICU Nurse and end of life doula who is fueled by a commitment to fostering open, authentic conversations, providing compassionate support, and guiding others towards embracing the natural cycle of life with dignity and peace. In this episode Leslie shares her experiences in the ICU and what happens for families when their loved one is in ICU.  She focuses on the impact when there has been no advance care planning, or no conversations about what matters most to the patient; as well as how some key intentional actions of ICU staff can help make this traumatic situation just a bit easier for families.   
Leslie also talks about how ICU staff also suffer in these experiences and how she takes solace in her involvement in The Three Wishes Project.  A project intended to bring back the human aspects of these experiences, and acknowledges for families that their person mattered, and they are not alone in their loss, while also helping ICU staff in navigating the grief that comes from working in such an intense and emotional critical care environment.   
Leslie undoubtedly believes that given our death is more certain than our next birthday, we all need to have a solid plan in place. 
Leslie IS making a difference for individuals and families and does whatever she can to help us all appreciate the importance of planning and preparation.  Her real-life experiences illustrate why this is so important for all of us. 
 
ABOUT LESLIE BULLER-HAYES: 
Leslie Buller-Hayes is the founder and owner of StoneHedge Transitions: End of Life Doula Services, a compassionate initiative aimed at providing support and guidance to individuals and families navigating all aspects of the often-tumultuous journey of end-of-life.  
She is also a seasoned Registered Nurse (RN) with over three decades of experience, primarily specializing in Critical Care. Her dedication to patient care and her understanding of the complexities of health in times of critical illness have been the cornerstone of her remarkable career.  
Leslie is an advocate for redefining societal attitudes towards death and dying. Recognizing the importance of education and open dialogue, she actively engages in promoting awareness and understanding surrounding end-of-life experiences. As a death educator and change agent, Leslie strives to challenge misconceptions and foster a culture of acceptance and empowerment in facing life's most profound inevitability.  
Leslie is on a mission to transform the narrative surrounding dying and death. Through her multi-faceted roles as a healthcare professional, entrepreneur, advocate, learner, and educator, she continues to inspire positive change, leaving an indelible mark on the lives she touches.  
 
Links to be shared:  
http://www.stonehedgetransitions.ca/ 
 https://www.facebook.com/StonehedgeTransitions 
 https://3wishesproject.com/ 
 
LEARN ABOUT DEATH DOULA NETWORK INTERNATIONAL 
Contact us at admin@ddnint.com for any feedback or suggestions on podcast guests or topics.   
Music provided by Dee Flat and the Benz, used with permission. 
 

Episode 8: Jennifer O’Brien, A “SOLO AGER” - WHO ARE THEY AND WHY DOES IT MATTER?

EPISODE 08: A “SOLO AGER” - WHO ARE THEY AND WHY DOES IT MATTER? 
Jennifer O’Brien, the Hospice Dr’s Widow, became a “solo ager” in 20??  when her last living family member, her father, died. Starting with the loss of her brother, David many decades ago, then her mother, her husband, Bob and now her father, she is “solo”.   
In her quest as a thought leader and with a deep passion to help others in preparing for end of life, she’s sharing the many challenges she faces as a “solo ager”, the things she must now consider in her own end of life planning, and why we all need to be more aware of how life’s experiences can immediately change how we hope, plan and prepare for the certainty of our own death. 
About Jennifer O’Brien: 
Jennifer O’Brien has helped thousands live and love more fully by recognizing that: at the end of life comes death; family caregiving is both the hardest job and the greatest honor most of us will ever face; and grief is abundant love with no place to go. She is the author of The Hospice Doctor’s Widow: A Journal, an art journal filled with beauty, practical insights, humor, and heart. The book has won a Nautilus silver award in the Death & Dying/Grief & Loss category, a Next Gen Indie Book gold for Relationships, an Independent Publishers (IPPY) bronze for Gift, and an International Impact Award for its Interior Design. 
For 35+ years she has been a practice management consultant to physicians. She has served as CEO for two large physician practices, authored 55+ pieces published in professional and peer review journals; and spoken to audiences ranging in size from 5-1500.  She holds a bachelor’s degree from Boston University and a master’s degree in organization development from Loyola University – Chicago.  She lives in Little Rock, Arkansas. 
Connect with Jennifer here:  
Website: https://www.hospicedrswidow.com/    Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-o-brien-msod-a3b9491/ 
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/hospicedrswidow/ 
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hospicedoctorswidow/ 
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@hospicedoctorswidow/videos 
 
LEARN ABOUT DEATH DOULA NETWORK INTERNATIONAL 
Contact us at admin@ddnint.com for any feedback or suggestions on podcast guests or topics. 
Music provided by Dee Flat and the Benz, used with permission. 

Episode 7: Vanessa Callison-Burch, The Many Faces of Grief Support – How Help Texts makes a difference

Vanessa Callison-Burch - The Many Faces of Grief Support – How Help Texts makes a difference
Help Texts is an online text messaging grief support tool created by its Founder, Emma Payne, after her spouse died by suicide and she saw how many around her simply didn’t know how to offer support. 
Though originally focused on supporting grief because of a death, Vanessa shares how Help Texts has intentionally set about providing this unique means of support to not only a griever, but those supporting them.   
Recognizing there are many forms of grief, learn how Help Texts accesses their own expert professional advisory team to craft meaningful and valuable messages of support – that are personal and valuable; and how their support has now expanded to pregnancy loss, pet loss, healthcare providers, caregivers, plus wellness and resilience.
The Help Texts team lives at the intersection of technology and mental health and is on a mission to make expert text support accessible for all.  
 
ABOUT VANESSA CALLISON-BURCH:
Vanessa Callison-Burch is Head of Product – Help Texts
Vanessa is a Silicon Valley product manager with the heart of a hospice volunteer. As a leader on Facebook’s Compassion team, she was the product manager responsible for shaping how Facebook cares for the accounts of people who have passed away. She has a BA from Stanford University and additionally graduated from Upaya Zen Center’s Buddhist chaplaincy training program with a focus in end-of-life care. Vanessa is excited to continue to explore the intersection of technology and compassion by supporting the Help Texts team as head of product.
 
Access Help Texts through the Death Doula Network International Community with $10 savings at: https://helptexts.com/ddnint
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Contact us at admin@ddnint.com for any feedback or suggestions on podcast guests or topics.
Music provided by Dee Flat and the Benz, used with permission.

Episode 06: Michelle Tyliakos, Knowing What’s Probable, Inviting What’s Possible – a Story of Love, Connection and Vitality

Michelle Tyliakos - Knowing What’s Probable, Inviting What’s Possible – a Story of Love, Connection and Vitality 
Michelle would say they had an average family life.  A family of 6, kids going to school, struggling to make ends meet, running a business, and always wanting more time with her husband.  Average, at least, until her husband Steve was diagnosed with a rare heart cancer.   Throughout Steve’s illness, they committed to face it all with love, connection and vitality. For over 1.5 years they navigated the health care system, knowing what was probable, yet inviting what was possible as they explored alternative care options, advocating and asking questions so they could make the best decisions for Steve. 
In December of 2021 Michelle became a widow, raising 4 children on her own.  With Michelle’s storytelling she shares what was most helpful for her; what she wants others to learn from her story and how this time with her husband was the worst time and yet the most beautiful time of their lives together.
ABOUT MICHELLE TYLIAKOS:
Michelle is a birth doula, prenatal educator, marine repair business owner and mother of 4 kids. 
Michelle's passion for advocacy and medical rights shines brightly, fueled by her personal journey of supporting her husband through the challenging terrain of a rare form of heart cancer. As a widow and a mother of four children, she has experienced the depths of adversity firsthand. Yet rather than allowing it to dim her spirit, Michelle invites others who have faced life's challenges to join her in crafting a future filled with brightness and hope, all while navigating the meaningful and everyday moments of life.With unwavering dedication, Michelle is committed to continually enhancing perinatal education in ways that profoundly impact families, birth workers, and medical professionals alike. Through her work, she aspires to uplift and empower all those involved in the birthing process, ensuring that informed choice and holistic care are at the forefront.
Join Michelle as she fearlessly champions the rights of individuals and families, and together, let's forge a path towards a future that embraces resilience, joy, and the transformative power of education. 
Connect with Michelle: 
IG: Michelle_tyliakos   or : MypowerfulbirthWebsites www.michelletyliakos.com    www.mypowerfulbirth.com   
or email me!  michelle@michelletyliakos.com
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Contact us at admin@ddnint.com for any feedback or suggestions on podcast guests or topics.
Music provided by Dee Flat and the Benz, used with permission.